Sometimes...

sometimes I don't know who my friends are..since ever Rabz left I've found it hard to distinguish the real ones. Sometimes I feel my efforts are just flowing in the wind without knowing when they will reach their nest

There is my father - who's always been wishing I was something else than what I am. It's not about me, it's about the image. But why am I being like this, it's not a bad thing. In fact, I should consider it a blessing. I just need to stand on my feet. It's giving me an oppurtunity to stand on my feet in a crowd that is just waiting to push and bump you. But it killed my spirit. O God, how it killed me. Despite knowing you cannot change what is, there's always that wish and comparison to how you SHOULD HAVE BEEN BORN

But these are my trials, only because God knows I can deal with them. So knowing this, I should keep spirits high...

Sometimes I get sad, not frustrated; just sad...because it's something I can't control and it will stay with me for the rest of my life. Dear God, is it going to be a wall or just a simple trial for me? But I accept your might Trials dear Allah (swt). Everything you shower upon me, is qabool.

I really miss my home right now. My motherland. I miss the presence of my dear family. I miss speaking to everyone in my dear language, where everyone speaks the way I do. I really miss it right now, but that stuff is for the future..now I am here, and I shall enjoy and capture the moments.

Dear God, whoever you bring into my life I shall take..