Last 10 years in review

I think it's good to reflect on what has happened since we moved from toronto - just writing it down makes a difference. I have another 30 min to spare until i have to head out of this library so here we go.

2000 - We moved from Toronto to this beautiful city in the month of august. My brother and i were quite sad because he had an obsession with the toronto maple leafs - and oh, because he had to leave his friends and the people from our community. So i started high school in a new school, in a totally new city where I knew no one. My dad said I no longer have to wear the hijab(head scarf) because I might get teased, and plus I was in a totally new setting he probably just wanted things easier on me. I am still not sure if that was the best decision up to this day - I'm not proud of it, because it showed my dad didn't have the confidence in the situation and was just scared. I should have been told, that i should be proud to wear a hijab. Sometimes I think that had I still wore it, it would have made me a stronger person and by now I would have gotten so used to wearing it that I probably would have never taken it off. So besides that, I started in french immersion program - but this was more advanced than we had thought. I cried in the halls in my first week of school because I couldn't find my class and was already 15 min late. A kind girl decided to take me there and helped me. I left the program and went to the regular curriculum. I had a hard time making friends. I didn't actually make some friends half way through the year. I did know some girls - but I didn't actually eat lunch with them. It just became awkward to join after a while. So yea, I was pretty much a loner for lunch time half way through the year. This was a very wierd time for me, because it wasn't me. I came from being friends with my whole class in grade 7, to this. Even in summer of 2000 I still didn't feel reassured with my friendships there just because i started off wierdly. I had a birthday party. It went ok, except one girl who decided to purposely swear in front of my dad - maybe because she didnt want to be there? She got into a fight with someone the year after, so she wasn't the nicest person anyways.

2001-I finished grade 8. We moved to a new house. I was school-less for the first two weeks of september because they were waiting to find a position for me at a different high school. And that was the time when the twin towers fell. What a day that was! I finally started in a new school - fear of my last experience - I forced myself to be pushy and make friends. So I found a group of friends for lunch time. But half way through the year I got to know 3 other girls, and realized they were the group I should be actually hanging out with. We were just settling into the new city. This was also the year where my little brother was diagnosed with autism. We had taken him to a daycare, he was the youngest kid there. I cry when I remember those moments.

2002 - I don't remember much. This was the year where I started at the highschool that i was suppose to be in. Found a friend - but ended up being friends with another group of girls. I wasn't actually that comfortable with them for a long time, or until the year after.

2003 - Still going to school there. Don't remember anything else.

2004 - This was the year i joined rugby and where i really enjoyed school. Things were going good with friends, i was getting used to the school and the people i met. I did really well in my classes. Until september that is. After that things just changed and i got drilled in the head and my view on school changed and I just changed from that year. boo! :(

2005 - This was graduation year from school school. I knew at the beginning of this year that i wasn't going to the university that Even I WANTED. I wasn't enjoying school. Things in rugby were also different. then in september from that year mom went away to visit her dad in the last moments. He passed away while she was there. this news didn't hit me till 2 years later. This was the year i got my laptop and got in touch with an old cousin - met a guy friend i still talk to - and the year i started college (just to because i was suppose to be in school). Maybe my heart was always somehwere else